Enjoy the freedom forgiveness brings

Do you know somebody who has been deeply hurt and is struggling to forgive? Perhaps they’re waiting for the person who hurt them to show remorse. They may say, “I just can’t forgive that person until they apologize to me!”

As Christians, we’re familiar with these words in the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). But what if our debtor refuses to apologize? Is it possible to forgive people who aren’t sorry?

The world says people have to apologize and attempt to make things right—or at the very least show some remorse—to earn forgiveness. 

The Bible says we have the power to forgive the people who hurt us, even if they don’t apologize.

Perhaps you’ve also been deeply hurt, and you’re struggling emotionally and spiritually as you wait for the person to say, “I’m sorry.” Let me offer three powerful reasons to unconditionally forgive them, even if they never ask for it.  

1. Unconditional forgiveness is biblical. Jesus said, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions” (Mark 11:25). If somebody has wronged you, Jesus said you’re to forgive that person. It doesn’t matter whether your offender is in the next room, the next state, or the cemetery—Jesus said you have the ability in your own heart to begin and end the forgiveness transaction.

In Luke 17:3, Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.” Notice that Jesus didn’t say, “If and only if he repents, forgive him.” No, He was simply saying, “If somebody asks for your forgiveness, forgive them.”

Repentance is your offender’s responsibility; forgiveness is your responsibility. It takes two people to reconcile a relationship, but it takes only one person to forgive.

 2. Unconditional forgiveness is practical. Do you want to spend your life confronting everybody who wrongs you, demanding an apology so you can forgive and move on? Not only would that be uncomfortable, but it might be impossible. You may have lost touch with your offender, or perhaps they’ve died. Does that mean you’re doomed to a lifetime of bitterness? 

No. Unconditional forgiveness allows you to let go of the wounds of the past regardless of what your offender does. That doesn’t mean they won’t face any consequences. It means you’re letting go of your right to hurt them for hurting you.

3. Unconditional forgiveness is beneficial. Have you ever been in a three-legged race? Your leg is tied to your partner’s leg, and as you hobble toward the finish line, you think, If I could get free from this person, I could run a lot faster and farther. But you are bound to your partner. You can travel no faster and no farther than they can.

When you refuse to forgive, it’s like you’re binding yourself to your offender. You can go no farther and no faster in life than they’re willing to travel. Your well-being depends on what they choose to do.

God designed forgiveness to free us from the people who hurt us. When we forgive, we’re saying, “I’m letting God settle the score so I can get on with my life.”

Has God brought to your mind somebody who has hurt you deeply? Perhaps you’ve lost touch with that person, or perhaps they’re unwilling or unable to repent.

You don’t have to be their prisoner any longer. God wants you to be free from the wounds of the past so you can “run with endurance the race that is set before [you]” (Hebrews 12:1). The way to experience that freedom is to forgive.

I pray that you and the loved ones you share this message with will choose to embrace the freedom of unconditional forgiveness.

Sharing the truth of God’s Word,

Dr. Robert Jeffress