How to Help Somebody Who’s Grieving

[God] comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction.
–2 Corinthians 1:4

Maybe you’re not grieving a loss right now, but you know somebody who is dealing with grief. In 1 Peter 2:9, Peter said we are “a royal priesthood.” God’s plan is not just for the church staff to care for the body of Christ–we’re all to care for other Christians who are hurting, especially those who have lost loved ones. So how should we comfort them? Let me share three practical tips for ministering to those who are grieving.

1. Be genuine. Sometimes we’re hesitant to reach out to people who are hurting because we’re worried about saying the wrong thing. Just be honest. If you were shocked to hear the news, tell the person you were shocked. If you feel like crying, cry. Whatever you do, be genuine.
2. Be quiet. As Christians, we often think if we say some uplifting words or quote the right Bible verses, we can heal somebody’s grief. But sometimes, our words can make things worse. Even biblical truths may sound hollow to somebody who is grieving. Christian author Joseph Bayly described an experience when he was “sitting, torn by grief,” and two people tried to comfort him: “Someone came and talked to me of God’s dealings, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly, he said things I knew were true. I was unmoved, except to wish he’d go away. He finally did. Another came and sat beside me. He didn’t talk. He didn’t ask leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour or more, listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply, left. I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go.”

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. A grieving person doesn’t need your words; they need you. Simply be present and supportive, especially a couple of weeks after the funeral when the crowds have dissipated.

3. Be practical. What a grieving person may need most is for somebody to do the dishes or mow the lawn. When my father died and we were busy making arrangements, a church member sent us a gift card to a local restaurant. She knew we didn’t have time to worry about preparing food. I’ll never forget her act of kindness. When somebody is grieving, do something practical to meet their needs.

Today’s devotion is adapted from “Moving from Grief to Acceptance,” by Dr. Robert Jeffress, 2021.

Joseph Bayly, The View from a Hearse: A Christian View of Death (David C. Cook, 1969), 40–41.

Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org.