How do I pray for and rebuild a relationship with my estranged adult child?

You know, this is a very prevalent problem. I have found that there are generally three causes for estrangement between parents and children.

Sometimes, it’s a theological issue. Many young adults will have questions. Don’t panic when your children ask questions. It’s often the process that allows them to embrace faith themselves instead of just imitating your faith. If your children have doubts, pray for them, but also provide for them reliable information to answer their questions. 

A few years ago, I wrote a book about this called How Can I Know? Answers to Life’s Seven Most Important Questions. 

Sometimes there are personal relationship issues. Let’s say a child refuses to forgive her parents for something she perceives they did wrong. You can’t force your child to forgive you. But you can do your part in making sure there’s no offense you’ve not asked forgiveness for. 

In 1 Timothy 1, Paul said we’re to keep a good conscience. A clear conscience is the assurance that neither God nor anyone else can accuse us of a wrong we haven’t attempted to make right. Be sure you have a clear conscience with your kids. If you’ve done something wrong, admit it, ask their forgiveness. They decide whether to forgive or not, but you can have a clear conscience.

Sometimes parents and children become estranged because of a rebellious lifestyle. I’m heartbroken over the number of Christian parents who turn their backs on their children because they don’t agree with their lifestyle choices. Don’t give up your biblical convictions, but don’t give up on your children either. Always let them know you love them. Always keep that communication open. Look eagerly for their return, and welcome them when they come home. I hope that’s an encouragement to those of you who are struggling with this issue.