When Memories Won’t Go Away

A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression.
–Proverbs 19:11

What are we to do if the memories of our sins toward God and others, or other people’s sins toward us, won’t go away? Let me give you some practical suggestions I have found helpful.

First of all, release those memories if possible. Some of the trivial hurts we experience can be dismissed from our consciousness if we choose not to dwell on them. Somebody came to me after a church service and said, “Pastor, I want to ask your forgiveness for something I said to you two years ago.” I didn’t remember what they had said–either I was preoccupied at the time, or I didn’t think it was significant. I just let it go. Therefore, it wasn’t part of my consciousness. Whenever possible, we ought to dismiss minor offenses. That’s why Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression.”

Second, recall your own failures. In a former church I served, one of the leaders was caught in immorality. A church member told me, “I can’t look at this person without thinking about what he did.” I said, “You’re not going to be able to quit thinking about that. So when you see that person and remember what he did, I want you to recall a sin you’ve committed–a secret sin so embarrassing that if it were displayed for the whole church to see, you would crawl under a pew. Whenever you look at him and recall his sin, remember your sin as well.” Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 7:1–2: “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.”

Third, remember your act of forgiveness. Do you remember the Westerns that were on television on Saturday mornings? The good guys in those shows always wore two pistols. When they confronted an evil guy, with lightning speed, they would pull both pistols out of their holsters. We need to use the same principle when we confront painful memories. It’s true that we’re likely going to recall what somebody did to us, but with lightning speed, we ought to pull out the other pistol and remember that we forgave them as well.

Today’s devotion is adapted from “Forgiving Without Forgetting,” by Dr. Robert Jeffress, 2015.

Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org.