Forgiving Sorry People Who Aren’t Sorry

My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.
–Matthew 18:35

Have you ever struggled to forgive somebody? If so, you’re not alone. In a Barna study, 23 percent of practicing Christians said there was somebody they couldn’t forgive, and 27 percent admitted there was somebody they didn’t want to forgive.

One reason many people have trouble forgiving is that the person who wronged them can’t or won’t say they’re sorry. Is it possible to heal from past wounds when your offender shows no remorse? This week, we’re going to look at powerful and biblical reasons for unconditionally forgiving those who’ve wronged you, even if they’re unwilling to say “I’m sorry.”

Last week, we saw that repentance is necessary to receive God’s forgiveness, to reconcile with somebody we’ve wronged, to be restored to a position we’ve lost because of our wrongdoing, and to experience relief from guilt. But notice that we’re the wrongdoer in all these situations. What about when we’re on the receiving end of the wrongdoing? Do we need to demand repentance from our offender before we can forgive them? Absolutely not. The Bible makes a strong case for unconditional forgiveness.

Matthew 18:34–35 is the climax of Jesus’ story about the unforgiving slave. This slave would not forgive his fellow slave of a small debt–even though he himself had just been forgiven by the king of an astronomical debt. When the king heard about this unforgiving slave, he was “moved with anger” and “handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him” (v. 34). Then Jesus added this application: “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart” (v. 35).

Notice the last three words of this verse: “from your heart.” Forgiveness does not begin in your offender’s heart; forgiveness begins in your heart. And it not only begins there but ends there as well. The forgiveness transaction begins and ends in your own heart.

Today’s devotion is adapted from “Forgiving Sorry People Who Aren’t Sorry,” by Dr. Robert Jeffress, 2015.

“1 in 4 Practicing Christians Struggles to Forgive Someone,” Barna, April 11, 2019, https://www.barna.com/research/forgiveness-christians/.

Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org.