Why the Words “I’m Sorry” Are Highly Overrated

While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.
–Luke 15:20

One of the greatest myths about forgiveness is the idea that we can never forgive somebody who’s not willing to say “I’m sorry.”

Many people, including many Christians, say that it’s impossible to forgive somebody who demonstrates no repentance or that it’s fundamentally wrong to let somebody off the hook without ever hearing “I’m sorry.”

People who insist on the offender’s repentance often use the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. In this story, the younger son went to his father and demanded his share of the inheritance. The father gave his son his portion of the estate. The son left and wasted his wealth on wine, women, and wild living. Soon he was reduced to slopping the hogs. He realized, “This is ridiculous. My father’s slaves have more than I do.” Jesus described what happened next: “He got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly . . . let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found’” (vv. 20–24).

Some people say the father didn’t forgive his son until he heard the words “I have sinned.” There are two problems with this interpretation. First of all, it violates the story Jesus told. Jesus said that while the son was still just a dot on the horizon, “his father saw him and felt compassion for him” (v. 20). The father in Jesus’ story, like our heavenly Father, made the first move.

Second, those who say forgiveness has to be earned fail to understand that there’s always a deficit between what our offender owes us and what they’re able to pay us. Hearing the words “I’m sorry” may bring momentary relief, but those two words cannot repay the debt you are owed any more than those two words can repay the debt that we owe God.

Today’s devotion is adapted from “Why the Words ‘I’m Sorry’ Are Highly Overrated,” by Dr. Robert Jeffress, 2015.

Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org.