What the Bible says about true love

Perhaps you’re familiar with what Jonathan Swift—author of Gulliver’s Travels—once said: “We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.”

Isn’t that true of some churches and families today?

It was certainly true of the Corinthian church in the apostle Paul’s day. Strife and division were tearing the church apart—and threatening their witness for Christ. 

What was the answer to the church’s problems? In a word: love.

Love is lubricant that makes any relationship, any family, and any church run smoothly.

Maybe you can relate to the Corinthians because there’s friction in your family or your church. The Bible says the answer is love. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul gave us a checklist for what true love looks like—and does not look like:

Love is not jealous (v. 4). Being jealous means you desire something that somebody else has—to the point that you wish the other person didn’t have it. Real love rejoices over what other people have instead of resenting it.

Love does not brag (v. 4). Someone once put it this way: “Love does not behave like a windbag.” We all know people who behave like windbags—they’re always name-dropping or bragging about their accomplishments. But genuine love does not brag.

Love does not act unbecomingly (v. 5). In other words, love is not rude. Many people have been turned off to Christianity not because of the offense of the gospel but because of the offensiveness of Christians. We need to speak the truth, but we need to speak it in love.

Love does not seek its own rights (v. 5). Nothing causes more friction in a family, a friendship, or a church than when we put our own rights above the rights of other people. Love means putting the rights of others ahead of our own.

Love is not provoked (v. 5). In other words, love is not short fused. Now, that doesn’t mean you never get angry. Jesus chased the moneychangers out of the temple because He had righteous anger for the holiness of God and God’s institutions.

But let’s admit it: our anger is not usually righteous anger. We’re not concerned about the things of God; we’re upset that our rights—or more accurately, our wants—were violated. A  mate doesn’t show proper appreciation for something we’ve done, a friend forgets a birthday, a vote in the church doesn’t go the way we think it ought to go—that’s when we get angry. But the Bible says genuine love is not easily provoked.

Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness (v. 6). How do you feel about the misfortunes of other people—especially people who’ve wronged you? If somebody cheated you in a business deal and later filed for bankruptcy, how would you feel? If your mate left you for another person, and then that relationship ended in divorce, it would be hard not to feel a little satisfaction. Yet the Bible speaks very clearly in Proverbs 17:5: “He who rejoices at calamity will not go unpunished.” We are never to take pleasure in the misfortunes of other people.

Do you know why we can be loving even toward people who have wronged us? Because that’s the kind of love God demonstrated toward us. Even though we were sinners deserving God’s judgment, He loved us so much that He sent Christ to die for us. As John wrote in 1 John 4:19, ‘We love, because He first loved us.”

Lord, help us to love one another as You love us!

 Sharing the Truth of God’s Word,

Dr. Robert Jeffress